Hello class.
Welcome to Professor Bal’s business class. Here, our motto is “cut the crap”.
Since this is our first class, let me start first by introducing myself. I was born in the year nineteen eighty-…ah, let’s cut the crap. Let’s move on to Lesson One, shall we?
Lesson One is “What is a Business Plan?”. Before you take out your notebook, let me say that this is a very short lesson. You can memorize it, or write it on your palm, or for those with a sense of adventure, tattoo it on your knuckles.
Ready? This is the whole lesson:
A business plan is a plan on HOW TO MAKE MONEY.
That’s it. Sorry, no tuition fee refund.
To have some fun, I did a Google search on “what is a business plan” (with quotes), and these are what I found:
DEFINITION ONE: A business plan defines the structure of the company and the object of the business activity. It contains a market analysis and details of strategic marketing, management structure, personnel and finance. A business plan plays an essential role in business administration.
DEFINITION TWO: A business plan is a recognized management tool used by successful and/or prospective businesses of all sizes to document business objectives and to propose how these objectives will be attained within a specific period of time. It is a written document which describes who you are, what you plan to achieve, where your business will be located, when you expect to get under way, and how you will overcome the risks involved and provide the returns anticipated.
DEFINITION THREE: A business plan is a document that summarizes the operational and financial objectives of a business, focuses on key points, allocates resources and contains the detailed plans and budgets showing how the objectives are to be realized. Because the business plan contains detailed financial projections, forecasts about your business’s performance, and a marketing plan, it’s an incredibly useful tool for planning of your business.
*Yawn* This is why I did not go to business school. I lack the skills of using big words to say nothing.
Let me comment on these “definitions”. By the way, these are generic definitions and there are hundreds like it on Google, so I won’t bother giving due credit to people who came up with these “definitions”.
———————————————–
We start with the first one.
DEFINITION ONE:
A business plan defines the structure of the company…
So far so good. But, a business plan does not “define” the structure of the company. It merely states the structure of the company. “Define” is the wrong word.
… and the object of the business activity.
“object of the business activity”: to make money. Whether you sell spark plugs, ear plugs, or butt plugs, the object of any BUSINESS activity is to make money. If not, then it’s not a business.
It contains a market analysis and details of strategic marketing…
Wow, I truly am impressed with the big words “market analysis” and “strategic marketing”. I humbly bow to your great skills in wordsmithery, o smart MBA man.
Let me translate that into simple language for people who, like me, might throw up when they listen to the word “strategic”:
“market analysis” = who will give money to us.
“strategic marketing” = how to get them to give money to us.
…management structure, personnel and finance…
“management structure” = who will whip ass when we don’t make money.
“personnel” = whose ass will it be.
“finance” = money.
…A business plan plays an essential role in business administration.
No kidding.
Conclusion: BUSINESS PLAN = HOW TO MAKE MONEY.
———————————————–
Let’s move on to the next one. Tee hee hee…I am having so much fun doing this.
DEFINITION TWO:
A business plan is a recognized management tool used by successful and/or prospective businesses of all sizes to document business objectives and to propose how these objectives will be attained within a specific period of time.
In other words, how to make money.
It is a written document which describes who you are,…
This belongs to a prison record, not a business plan.
…what you plan to achieve,…
Make money.
…where your business will be located,…
What difference does it make?
…when you expect to get under way, and how you will overcome the risks involved and provide the returns anticipated.
In other word, when and how to make money.
Conclusion: BUSINESS PLAN = HOW TO MAKE MONEY.
———————————————–
One more to go.
DEFINITION THREE:
A business plan is a document that summarizes the operational and financial objectives of a business, focuses on key points, allocates resources and contains the detailed plans and budgets showing how the objectives are to be realized.
So much bullshit I need a jackboot to walk out of here. Say it with me: HOW TO MAKE MONEY!!!!!!
Because the business plan contains detailed financial projections, forecasts about your business’s performance, and a marketing plan,…
That is, how to make money.
…it’s an incredibly useful tool for planning of your business.
No shit, Sherlock.
Conclusion: BUSINESS PLAN = HOW TO MAKE MONEY.
———————————————–
Class dismissed.
Posted by Suhaimi.
Filed under Business & Management, Education, Finance & Investment, Marketing
Posted on Fri, 10 April 2009 at 6:30 am
Subscribe to RSS 2.0 feed.
very funny how people are so creative to come out with the mumbo-jumbo when trying to describe very simple and straight forward thing.
10 Apr 09 at 9:58 am #[...] berkenaan dengan isu yang sama, Pelan Bisnes (Business Plan) . Saya cadangkan anda membaca tulisan Suhaimi terlebih [...]
10 Apr 09 at 10:39 am #Bolehkah saya menulis di telapak tangan menggunakan air liur sebagaimana Imam Syafie?
Kesemua nota yang beliau tulis akan dihafal sebelum air liur di telapak tangannya kering.
o:-)
10 Apr 09 at 11:09 am #haha. very cool. so, B-school not necessary maybe?
13 Apr 09 at 1:17 pm #yes..agreed!business plan=making money..ni budak skolah pun tau rasanya! tak payah nak guna ayat berbunga2. straight to the point!=)
14 Apr 09 at 11:19 am #Thanks to all who comment.
Akmal,
People think that using jargons and obfuscations will make them sound smart. It may look like that to the average guy on the street, but for people who know better, bullshit is bullshit.
Hafiz,
Dari tulis atas tapak tangan, baik tulis atas WACOM(TM) Graphic Tablet.
Lorraine,
B-school is necessary, e.g. to network (although I suspect if this is the case, because many people who were sent to B-School overseas and came back to Malaysia never actually do business with their former classmates. So where is the “networking” part?)
B-School is useful to learn the hard skills, e.g., financial analysis, investment valuations, risk management, M&A, supply chain management, etc. Many people, unfortunately, came out of B-School with no further skills than the ability to bullshit / razzle-dazzle people with big business-y words. And they call this “soft skills”.
Inas,
Yes. Of course there are many things that HAVE TO BE in the business plan (needless to say), but if your business plan has no clear plan on how to make money, then your business plan is bunk.
I’m just using hyperbole to make my point.
14 Apr 09 at 1:22 pm #Thanks Suhaimi, more questions
Say I were to start my own biz in future, do u think it necessary to go and major in something like ‘entrepreneurship’ in Uni, or, any biz major would do fine, or its all just common sense(like in your case?).
Also, is there any skills that you wished u had when starting your biz? Like maybe web design, accounting or maybe even more languages?
15 Apr 09 at 10:48 pm #It all depends on the individual / type of business, but this is my opinion based on my personal experience:
If you plan to start a small business, it is best to learn the “hard skills” in college, such as engineering, programming, design, biotech, even the fundamental sciences like chemistry or physics, although you plan to start a totally unrelated business. This is so that you’ll develop a scientific, methodical, data-driven approach to your business. This will give you a competitive edge in your business, because many people come into business fully believing in their “gut feeling” or “intuition”.
The “business” element (accounting, finance, etc) of a small business is trivial and can be learned as you go, by reading or by experience.
If you plan to start big (for example, getting a RM100 million financing to create the next AirAsia), then definitely you’ll need a proper business education because then your business decisions will have great impact on your company.
The latter category is quite rare but is not unheard of. I know some people my age who run businesses worth more than RM 25 million. But most people learn business from the ground up, and you do not need a formal business education to start and run a small business. It’s all common sense and smart planning.
I am not knocking MBAs, though. A few people in Aidan is working on their MBA, and I am fully supportive of their effort. But one must understand the reason to get an MBA. If the reason is “to while away two years overseas and get a master’s degree from a foreign university” then the time is better spent working. If you need MBA to help you in business (learn how to market effectively, learn about finance, investment, risk, etc) then definitely go for it.
What I wished I knew earlier?
16 Apr 09 at 10:53 am #When I started, I knew a little bit of accounting, because I used to work in a large financial company. But small business finance is different. I learned about managing small business finance by books and by talking to my accountant. I wished I had known more programming, though. I did learn a few programming languages like C++ and OcamL on my own, but I am a little rusty on both.
Woah.. thanks a lot Suhaimi! I’m happy that your blog. Cheers.
17 Apr 09 at 1:22 pm #happy that i found your blog
17 Apr 09 at 1:24 pm #